It has been quite a week at our house. Well, I take that back....it has been quite a summer. But this week in particular was poignant and sad. Elle, our oldest daughter, got married a month ago and had already moved out. More on THAT later. On Sunday, our second daughter, Em, moved out to go to college. I still have a lump in my throat. Now that I think about it, that lump has been there all summer.
Now that both girls are gone, their bedroom is strangely clean. There are no clothes on the floor, makeup on the dressers, papers on the bed. There are no ipods, cell phones or laptops laying around. The bathroom is sparkling. There is no one in the shower at midnight, no voices talking until 2 am, no one snacking in the kitchen or watching movies at ungodly hours. I hate it.
G.T., our 12 year old son, slept in our room the first night Em was gone. It was like we three just needed to be together, to circle up. He said he keeps thinking she is coming home and it's just now sinking in that she isn't going to be there every day. I know that feeling.
Here's a tip to parents whose kids are leaving home: Don't watch any old family movies before they leave! Take it from one who knows--seeing your young adult kids as the cute little children they were yesterday is not a good idea. We thought it would be fun to reminisce about old times when we brought out the boxes of (mostly unlabeled) videos. We'd pop in a tape and be surprised at the content, which we hadn't looked at in forever. There were our two little red-haired girls opening presents, or riding bikes, or being silly. There was our boy in blue overalls, riding a big-wheel, or playing in the sandbox. Both Tom and I had to leave the room more than once with tears in our eyes, pretending to get a glass of water or adjust the room temperature. We didn't want it to turn into a "cry-fest," as G.T. calls it. But, darn it, it is just SAD! Saying goodbye to an era in your family's life is hard, and I don't like it.
Everyone says that you get used to your kids being gone, and that you'll even come to enjoy new freedoms. I do look forward to having more time to myself, to think about being more involved in various things, but I will miss the whirlwind of having two beautiful teenage daughters in the house. They brought so much life, and joy and fun to our family. This summer was like a special gift. It was the five of us together, hanging out and working on the wedding. We swam and played volleyball in our cheesy blue pop-up pool and we loved it. We watched movies, played games and goofed off. Now all that is over, and there is school, and college and work..........and, oh yeah, only three of us left in this old house.
Call me sentimental, but I am having a hard time believing that there will ever come a day that I won't miss the past. Don't get me wrong, I am excited about seeing these girls launch into their futures and I am thrilled about G.T. just getting into the fun teenage years. But it is the sweetness of little fingers and toes, flannel jammies, warm goodnight kisses and bedtime stories that are forever gone to me, and I grieve the passing. Most of that stuff passes so gradually that you never even realize it's gone. It is just when you drive away from a college dorm, or unload the last box into your newlywed daughter's tiny apartment that you feel a pang that tells you that something really, really precious is over.
Ecc. 3:1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven...a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance...........
You won't mind if I shed a few tears, will you? Pass the Kleenex, I feel a cry-fest coming on.
Rachel Anne
