This is my first WFMW. Thanks for the invite to join in.
Doesn't whining just make you want to jump off the nearest bridge? My kids really had whining down to an art form, and it seemed to peak between ages 2 and 5, with some pretty remarkable moments well beyond. Here are my tips for minimizing this annoying habit.
1. Learn to hear whining when it happens. It might sound crazy, but whining can become such a common tool for communication that you don't even hear it anymore. (But it is easy to hear other people's naughty children!) I actually prayed that God would train me to listen better.
2. Give your little ones the right words and tone to use by having them repeat YOU saying what you want to hear. Ex. "Let me hear you say "Mommy, may I please have a cookie?" not "I waaana cookieeeeeeeee!" Humor and exaggeration are completely acceptable when you give them their lines. Be patient, they will get it.
3. Help them learn delayed gratification by setting a timer for a couple of minutes. "Yes, you may have a cookie when the timer rings, but not if you whine while you are waiting." Be generous with the praise when they are able to do it! Waiting is an important life skill.
4. Call a spade a spade. Help the ones who are old enough to understand to realize that they are trying to trick you into doing what they want, by crying and making a scene. Gently remind them that it is disrespectful to speak to you that way.
5. This may be obvious, but don't give in to whining when it happens. I often found myself just giving the darn cookie because I was tired of hearing about it, and that only delayed the training. You really shouldn't have to say "no" more than once or twice, not 10 times. Or 50 times.
6. For kids who are really old enough to know better, give reasonable consequences.
7. Be an example! I am surprised at how many things I myself complain and whine about. Out loud. In front of the kids.
8. Don't give up. You are training those little ones and it does take time. Years even. So be kind, and be consistent.
9. Don't be afraid to say "no," even if they ask for something properly. Compliment them on how they presented their request, but give them your answer anyway.
Whining can be a passing phase, and with love and consistency, you can help it pass by much more quickly!
Rachel Anne
