Home Sanctuary

Strateegery. Is that a word?

There is an old Saturday Night Live parody of "George Bush" debating "Al Gore" in the 2000 campaign.  At the close of the debate, the candidates were each asked to sum up their positions in one word.

Al Gore said, "Lock Box."  Laughter followed.

The camera closed in on Mr. Bush.  "StraTEEgery!" he exclaimed, to the guffaws of the audience.

No one can butcher the English language like he can.  In fact I cringe every time I hear his "newk-you-lar," instead of "nuclear."

But whether you pronounce it "StraTEEgery" or "Strategy," its meaning is the same.  It is a military term for conducting a campaign to gain advantage in war.  It can be used to describe means of accomplishing plans, or steps one takes to complete a task.

Honestly, I've never been a real good strategist.  Now, I'm a good list maker.  And I'm a good problem solver.  I'm even a good "Idea" person. But I start to power down whenever someone invites me to a Strategy Meeting of some sort.  And if someone starts talking about "Cleaning Strategies," or "Business Strategies," I mentally check out. 

That's why the title of Michael Hyatt's current blog series caught my attention.  Mr. Hyatt is the President and CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishing.  His topic, "Why Vision is More Important than Strategy," delves into creating a vision of the reality that you want. 

"Vision and strategy are both important." he writes. "But there is a priority to them. Vision always comes first. Always. If you have a clear vision, you will eventually attract the right strategy. If you don't have a clear vision, no strategy will save you.

I have seen this over and over again in my professional and personal life. Once I got clear on what I wanted, the how almost took care of itself."

His words have struck a chord with me.  I am often strategizing when I should be creating a compelling vision.  I'm bogging down in the details of a plan I really don't buy into, even when I'm the one who came up with the plan in the first place.  I like his recommendations for developing a vision, and I think they can be applied to almost any area of life, including my home life.  After all, as a Mom, I am the Chief Operating Officer of the most important organization on earth: my family.  If I don't have a vision of what our home can be, how can I expect anyone to buy into my strategies?

I haven't had a chance to digest the full meaning of Michael Hyatt's posts yet.  But already I can sense a change in how I will approach the challenges that face me.   Just THINKING of my vision in the present tense (point #6) has given me a whole new perspective.  I hope you'll take a moment to read his blog posts on this subject.  The only thing is, he SHOULD have titled the series,

Vision is More Important Than Strateegery

Then, those of us in Texas would know exactly what he is talking about!

Aw, come on! Let's join the party!

I finally decided to join the Blog Party over at 5 Minutes for Mom.  Perhaps the tag-line "Get Your Blog Noticed" made me think it sounded self-serving, but now I'm over that and I jumped in.

And, as long as I am attending the party, I'm going to be donating a prize.  I will hand-paint a personalized wall plaque with your child's name (or yours if you want) on it, in your choice of colors.  So, if you want one of these, FREE, you'll have to join in to be eligible for the drawing!  It will make a very cute addition to your kid's room.  I'll even let you pick a font if you want.  What could be better?

I looked over the list of prizes and there are some great things being donated!  I personally never win anything, but it's fun to dream!

Everyday Sanctuary

Creating Sanctuary at home often means offering rest to the weary soul.  I don't know about you, but I feel weary quite often and my soul yearns for the comfort of a loving touch or gentle understanding.  Overwhelmed by the tasks undone, my impulse is to hide under the pillows and hope it all goes away.

My husband calls this feeling "beaten down."

Yesterday was a long day.  Good, but long.  As I drove the hour-long trip home and the clock neared 8 pm, I was given Sanctuary in my husband's kind voice on the telephone.

"Come on home," he said.  "We'll take care of you." 

It was a cup of cold water to me.

My mother (she and Dad and visiting from Nebraska) made a delicious dinner and kept it warm on the stove until I got home.  Boy, it tasted good.  Banana cream pie for dessert?  Wow, we never get REAL dessert at our house.  She offered Sanctuary to me in a way that only Moms can.

I woke up this morning and one of my first thoughts was how loved I felt after my long day.  I began to think of ways that I could reciprocate Sanctuary to my loved ones.

My daughters could use a phone call.  My son would like me to walk to the pond with him and sit while he fishes.  My husband would love to walk into a clean bedroom.  My parents would enjoy a cup of coffee with me.

Everyday Sanctuary is in the simplest, yet most meaningful of things.  It is found in taking a moment to think about how we can express our love for the other person in a way that brings comfort to their soul.  Tonight, my family will indulge my love of Survivor (7 pm, CBS), and let me sit on the couch for an hour to watch my favorite show.  It means a lot to me that they clear that hour to sit with me.  Scoff if you want, but that is Sanctuary to me.

Prov. 14:22 says, Those who plan what is good find love and faithfulness.

I am making plans to provide Sanctuary for my family today.  What a blessing to know that love and faithfulness are promised when we plan what is good.

What does everyday Sanctuary look like at your house?

On Hat Tricks and Heartstrings

It's been a hockey weekend at our little sanctuary. A President's Day Tournament meant four games spread out over Saturday and Sunday, and a team get-together at our house in between games. After a disappointing loss in the first game, our band of boys pulled together for an exhilarating victory in the next one.

AND GRAYSON SCORED HIS FIRST HAT TRICK EVER!

It was a moment of glory for a defenseman, who gets to skate a lot but has few opportunities to score.  His third goal came in the final 25 seconds of a tie game, making me forget that I was holding the video camera while I pounded on the glass and yelled "THAT'S MY SON!"  He was mobbed by his teammates, crowned the hero of the game.  It was every parent's dream moment for their kid and it was sweet.

I think about all the games he's tried so hard to score and missed every time.  I think about the games we've lost and sat in silence on the long road home.  And I think about the unexpected beauty of seeing your kid shine for a single moment at the end of a game, where everything comes together into a  picture of perfection: a slow-motion experience that ends with cheers and congratulations.  Oh, my.

Later that night as I tucked him into bed, he whispered to me, "Mom, I still can't believe I did it."  Through the darkness I could see his sleepy smile. 

I looked at him, my third-born, my own hat-trick baby.  To have one child is a miracle.  To have two is beyond words.  And to be given a third, well.  It's wonder, exhilaration, excitement and gratitude.  In a life where there are no guarantees, he is more than I ever could have hoped for.

I smiled back at him.

I know the feeling.

I thought this was funny

A nugget found in a FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: message:

After the christening of his baby brother in church,

Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.

His father asked him three times what was wrong.

Finally, the boy replied,

"That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home,

but I wanted to stay with you guys."

Happy Valentimes

Just a quick note today, to wish you all a Happy "Valentimes" Day!  We still call it that.  I'm a silly sentimental girl, and I get pretty mushy at the drop of a hat.  So, having a day dedicated to All Things Loveable is a great reason to express warm thoughts for each of you, dear readers and visitors to my little "Sanctuary." 

I certainly didn't want to sound like a "Bah Humbug" on my last post, because I do love this day.  My thoughts had turned to the times that I had wished for more. More outward affection.  More candy.  More flowers.  OK, just SOME candy and flowers.  Some years are just better than others, and I think that there may be one or two readers who might have a Valentine's Day that disappoints.

For you especially, I wish you a day in which you feel loved, no matter what your situation.  God bless your marriage relationship.  He is with you and will bring you through.  If you are going through a difficult time right now, this day can be lonely, and I feel your pain.  I have been there.

So, from my heart to yours, know that you are not alone.  You are loved and appreciated.  Your kindnesses and thoughtful deeds don't go unnoticed.  You are special.

Thanks for being a part of my life.

Rachel Anne

Valentine Help for The Romantically Impaired

No doubt many of you have husbands who are quietly planning a Valentine's Day Extravaganza that will sweep you off your feet and make you fall in love all over again.  This post is not for you. 

This post is for the rest of us, who are married to guys who are barely aware that it is February, and who have only a vague notion that Valentines Day falls somewhere in the middle of it.  I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only woman who feels that the weight of making something romantic happen is squarely in her court.  It seems a little unfair, what with all the serving, giving, and self-sacrificing we do, that we should have to make arrangements for Valentine's Day as well.  But, short of sending ourselves a dozen red roses, the reality is that this holiday is much like all the others: it requires the attention of the Mom CEO to create something special.

I have to be honest:  I've gotten my feelings hurt many times over the years, wishing that my guy would make a little more of an effort to make it special.  While some of the blame may fall at his feet, I have to take some responsibility for the fizzle.  I've put him into a no-win situation:  I've gotten mad if I have to tell him what I want, and I've gotten mad if he couldn't figure it out on his own.  Hmmm, the common denominator?  Me, getting mad.  On the holiday of love.

Not good.

So, I've learned a few things along the way.  First, I've realized that Valentine's Day is heavily marketed by the gift/flower/card/chocolate/car/restuarant industries so that we'll buy STUFF as proof of our love for one another.  Don't be suckered by these scammers.  Putting a dozen red roses on your maxxed out credit card is not proof of anything except that he fell for a guilt trip.  This also goes for a candlelit dinner at a cozy and expensive restaurant.  If you can't afford it, it will not deepen your affection.  Take it from one who knows.

Secondly, I found that widening the circle of people we express love to on this day takes the emphasis off of trying to get my man to pull off a romantic feat for ME.  We decided several years ago to make this day a family day of love, rather than just something for just the two of us.  I'm sure my husband is a little bit relieved over this, and it's really O.K.  We plan a nice dinner for the family and either do a "round robin" valentine, or just go around the table and say something nice.  A luscious brownie dessert with ice cream is always a hit.  It's simple and it's meaningful. 

Including our children in our Valentine's Day has had the added blessing of helping THEM feel loved.  As the man in our daughters' lives, my husband has written the girls' cards and given them chocolates or small gifts.  To make it easy, some years I've purchased the things he's needed ahead of time.  I stopped expecting him to think up everything on his own and started looking at it as a team effort.  I try and do a little something for our son, but like many men, he doesn't really seem to care about this particular holiday.  I give him an extra mushy kiss just because he's 13 and it's fun to watch him pretend he doesn't like it.

Lastly, I have found that what I choose to focus on makes all the difference.  I married a man who is sweet and kind every single day.  He shows his love for me in a million ways, and what a fool I would be to measure that love by what happens on a solitary day in February!  So, instead of pouting about a lack of gifts, I choose to dwell on his sweetness, and the thoughtful things he does for me throughout the year.  I think about the sound of his voice when he picks up the phone, and the first cup of coffee he brings me each morning.  I cherish the abundant hugs and kisses, the "I love you's," and the private jokes we share.  We've made a life together, and even the dailiness of living together is something to treasure.

Valentine's Day is a great excuse to use red napkins and make heart-shaped brownies.  It is not a day in which I will require my man to jump through hoops to meet expectations that have been set by TV commercials.  We'll grill up some steaks, light some candles, and hold hands with our children around the table.  We'll smile at each other and our eyes will say,

"Just look what love made!"

The Tribe Has Spoken

There aren't many TV shows that I watch regularly. Even fewer that I watch religiously. But on Thursday nights, you'll find me parked in front of the tube, enjoying my slice of reality TV. Please don't call me on the phone between 7 and 8, Central Standard Time. I'll be lost in Survivor, Fiji Islands.

I don't know why I love this show so much. Perhaps it's the "Outwit, Outlast, Outplay" slogan that appeals to me. Ya'll know how much slogans mean to me. I also love the sets (such artistry!) and the challenges.

Better yet is the microcosm of human nature that plays out on a deserted island. The backstabbing, the alliances, the challenges, the rewards--all done in brightly colored buffs. I'm always rooting for the underdogs, the good people who make it through on the stuff that helps you make it through life in the Real World: cooperation, social graces, strength and luck.

I gave up on Lost (too weird), Prison Break (too violent), Grey's Anatomy (too yuckky), ER (don't know why) and most of the other shows for offensive content. So now I'm down to 24 and Survivor as my "must see" shows. I don't know what that says about me, but there you have it.

Oh, and did I mention that I'm a sucker for American Idol? Yep, it's true. So don't call me on Wednesday nights either.

Family Valentine Fun!

Looking for an easy activity for Valentine's Day that needs little preparation and creates a lasting memory?

One of the best Valentine's Day activities we've done has been to create a "round robin" valentine for each family member. The kids need to be old enough to read and write to participate, or will need Mom and Dad's help to make it work.

After a nice Valentine's Day dinner, each person gets a blank card and a pencil. At the top of the card, each one writes their name, and passes the card to the right. In just a few sentences, you are to write something special about the person whose card you now have. The card then gets passed to the next person and they write something on the card. By the time the card completes the circle, each family member will have a card that has been written in it by everyone. Have each individual read their card out loud and enjoy the love!

One of the things that is so cool about this is hearing the children express their love for each other. The finished Valentines are real "keepers!" I ran across some from years back and enjoyed reading the misspelled words and funny expressions, frozen in time and oh, so wonderful. It's what Valentine's Day is all about.

Six Weird Things

The first Meme I have participated in and possibly the last, because this is hard work.  Lane tagged me for this and I figured if she could do it with 4 little kids, I surely could handle this as well.  But either I'm delusional, or I just don't think I'm that weird. Scary thought, but here goes.

THE RULES: Each player of this game starts with the 6 weird things about you. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says you are tagged in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

1. I don't like to crawl into an unmade bed at night. If I didn't make the bed in the morning, I have to pull the covers up and put the pillows straight before I can get in.  But I draw the line at putting the decorative pillows on--I'm not THAT crazy!

2. I rarely read whole books. Hardly ever give myself the luxury of reading a novel. Reason: I become so engrossed in the story that I can't function in real life and that's a problem.

3. I never found it necessary to give my kids DAILY baths for hygenic purposes. For entertainment, I didn't care if they wanted three baths a day--why not? Splash away. As long as they wipe good and don't smell bad they could go every other day...or so. Am I a bad mom?

4. I don't really like Starbucks coffee. Gasp! Un-American! I secretly believe I am like the child in the emporor's new clothes. No one else likes it either but because they are all addicted to the mega-caffeine they pretend they do.

5. My knees sound like popping bubble wrap when I go up stairs. My son told me once "I like the sound of your knees cracking when you come upstairs because it means you're coming to kiss me goodnight." That's a nice take on it.

6. I could eat quesadillas everyday. And I do. (almost.) Pepperjack cheese and refried beans in a toasty tortilla...pure lunch.

I'm glad they didn't ask for more than six things or I would have had to ask my kids for help.  I don't even want to know the things they'd put on my list! 

I don't have six people to tag, but I'll tag Jessica, Rachel, Chrystal, and anyone else who would like to play along. Share the weirdness!