With football season well underway, you might feel like you aren't communicating with your man like you used to. Especially on weekends.
I suggest using Sports Talk to bridge the gulf, and to get your man to truly understand your needs.
Try:
"I'm going to call an audible," for "There's going to be a last-minute change of plans."
"I don't like your Hurry-Up Offense," for "I don't think you should make a rush decision."
"Now you're in the "I" Formation," for "You are being incredibly selfish here."
"There's going to be a flag on the play," for "You're going to have to back up and start over."
"That's a 10 yard penalty," for "You are in trouble."
"Delay of game," for "Dinner isn't ready yet."
"All my jerseys are "Throw-Back" jerseys," for "All my clothes are out of date and I need new ones."
"We've got too many men on the field," for "I can't function with all these kids running around."
"1st and goal to go," for "There's a real good chance you're about to score with me."
"You're gonna have to punt," for "You just lost your chance to score with me."
"False start, Offense," for "I didn't give you any signal to make your move."
"False start, Defense" for "You don't even know what I'm going to say and you're already arguing."
"You aren't running the right route," for "You're just not there when I need you."
"Pass Interferance," for "I would have gotten everything done, but something came up."
"Don't draw me off-sides," for "Don't do something that you know is going to make me mad."
"You're at 1st and 10," for "You're out of the doghouse and you've got a new chance."
"Throw a Hail Mary," for "You have one final chance to get yourself out of this, and you better pray."
And even though baseball season is over, you can toss in a few of those terms as well. Men get it when you say:
"You're on deck," for "I'll change THIS diaper, but you're getting the next one."
"Grand slam," for "You scored big points with me."
"I need a Seventh Inning Stretch" for "I'm tired and I need a nap."
Using language your man understands shows that you care about reaching his big ol' heart. Because deep inside that tough exterior is just a guy who knows all about winning and losing. He's out there on the playing field everyday, and he needs to know he's got a cheerleader on the sidelines who knows the game.
And ALL guys understand the words, "How about a Half-Time Show?"
No translation needed.
